I don't really live anywhere anymore. Not properly. No fixed address in the UK. No fixed address overseas either. I spend most of the year drifting around Asia and South America on 3-month tourist visas staying in hotels and serviced apartments paid month to month. Backpack containing my mobile office. Small carry-on suitcase carrying my wardrobe. That's my life now.
I prefer it that way if I'm honest.
The less paperwork tied to me the better. No electoral register. No permanent address. No real footprint anywhere. I run my business remotely and mostly keep myself to myself. Sometimes I think I've spent years quietly trying to disappear from the system without fully admitting it to myself.
Maybe that sounds paranoid as fuck.
Still though, the older I get the less I trust any of it.
I don't really know why I started writing all this down. Maybe because the world feels stranger every year and I can't shake the feeling that most punters know it deep down even if they never say it out loud. Something feels off now. Not dramatic film script off either. Just quietly wrong somehow.
Like reality's been replaced with something flatter.
Folk look knackered and pissed off all the time. Towns feel dead. Conversations feel hollow. Half the internet doesn't even seem real anymore. Just bots, adverts, gobshites shouting at each other and endless noise pumped into people's heads every hour of the day.
I think that's what really started doing my head in after a while. The constant noise of modern life. Every screen screaming for attention. Every app trying to keep punters addicted. Every government banging on about safety while tracking everybody through little glass bricks they willingly carry around in their pockets.
And people just accept it now.
That's the weird part.
I sometimes think the public surrendered privacy because they were promised convenience in return. Food delivered. Entertainment on demand. Endless scrolling. Endless distraction. Whole thing feels like a stitch-up when you stand back and look at it properly.
Maybe I'm talking shite. I don't know.
Still though, I can't shake the feeling that modern life has started grinding people down mentally in ways we don't fully understand yet. We don't even seem present anymore half the time. Everyone's somewhere else mentally. Scrolling. Consuming. Reacting. Arguing. Nobody switches off.
I write these entries mostly because I'm trying to make sense of things in my own head. Technology. Media. Surveillance. Economic nonsense. Information overload. The strange atmosphere hanging over modern life now. All the little things that start adding up after enough years until the whole world begins feeling slightly artificial.
I don't pretend to have answers. Half the time I'm just trying to work out whether the world's genuinely gone strange or whether too much isolation has fried my brain a bit.
Could honestly be either at this point.
Anyway.
These are just observations really. Thoughts from somebody who quietly stepped sideways out of normal life years ago and never fully stepped back into it again.